Can God depend on me?

We depend on things so much like my husbands check being direct deposited into the bank and after some time its there and then today i get up and check the bank and its not then i go crazy because I depended on it being there.... and thats just money.....how do I think God feels about me when I (a person) start doing for God and right when He thinks He can depend on me Im not there anymore...How should He feel?? God I comitt to you to follow you always, love your daughter Tracy~